Lil' Richie

As sporadic as my posts are, i will say that it always feels kinda nice to know that my livejournal still exists and that when I need to can always always come back here and post. As is per usual I have my normal set of reasons for not posting: nothing to write about, or when there was stuff going on i was too consumed and overwhelmed by it to even sit down and post, or my personal favorite livejournal oh yeah i had completely forgotten about that old thing.

I guess I should mention that I think all this hyp and all this stuff about this inauguration (which thankfully is now over) is kinda crazy. Yes we have a new president but it is another president, and he does not have all the power and cant change everything, let alone instantly. How crazy people have gotten over this kinda scares me, its almost cult like, which is terrifying.

Anyways from my world, well its just kinda....blah. At least right now. Last week had some excitement in the fact I got to run the Barns show on my own, which very much so is a promotion, but it was a chance to do more it was a huge step in the right direction. Managing shows is way better than supervising. Still not full time (or even part time) which is not cool (i am temp/season despite being there 40hrs/wk all year) but it means more money and its a huge step forward, esp given that they have never done this before. To the best of my knowledge I am the first person that wasnt on the full time staff they have let run the show. That show was the first of many so I cant wait for my next challenge. Also they cant have too many more things they can throw my way before I get a to be full time, even still it is a lot more experience for my resume if nothing else.

No Caps games this week or last or even next week but thats just the way it goes. With everyone back to school (except Matt) for the semester I guess for me its back to sitting around and being bored out of my mind.

December was plenty busy between Shinedown, 3 Doors Down, Switchfoot, 2 Caps games, and a trip to Las Vegas so I guess this boring month of January evens things out.

It has been a fair amount of time since i posted. This is the same as usual. I go long periods of time without posting.

Had a great weekend though. I got to goto Games 5 and 7 for the Washington Capitals playoffs. They lost the game 7 in OT to the Flyers, which kinda sucks but it is what it is. Still doesn't change the fact I got to be there and it was a great game.

Classes are kicking my ass. I just took on too much at once. I wasn't ready for this many papers in classes that had finals already. I expected one or the other. Mix in a group project and a job 40+ hrs a week and things get crazy. On top of all that I am trying to pay off loans and out money away for a new car. I love my little Geo but I am always in fear it will die on me.

I had forgotten that I last posted in November; I thought it had been longer.  I really think I am good shape with everything for once. Life is dull but at least I can breath easy now because all the pieces are falling into place. Starting slow at nova, only taking two classes this semester. If things go well I will move on from there, but I don't want to start big and fall hard again. Looks like I am going to be working at Wolf Trap for a while. The reason being that staying at Wolf Trap gives me a lot of down time in the fall and spring during the school year, so i can take classes whenever and then when i am not in classes i can be studying while being paid to work. Entertainment management is my current goal to get into. Specifically I want to be a box office manager.

So the new year came around and its now 2008, originally I didn't plan to have any new years resolutions. I realized that it was the perfect time to start a new and change things for the better. I am always upset with myself at the way certain things have gone in the past but I think now I am on the right track. I feel that now is the time to do all the things I have been telling myself I would do. So far it has been pretty good for the most part. There are a few things I need to do before I can stop certain things. Things are moving in the right direction at least.

Well everything turned out to be easier than i thought it would be. I was only working yesterday from 8am-12pm, managed to go home then I got back there at 10pm and worked until midnight. Above all else the most important thing is that the Mountaineers won yesterday. With so many things up in the air right now and my debt just being huge, for so reason I am very calm and relaxed right now. I mean the fact is that I should be losing my mind. Maybe I have already lost it, thats the only thing that I can think of that would explain everything right now. Although not everything has an explanation so this could just be one of those times.

I kinda like the fact that I am back to posting in this thing again. I want to see if I can break my previous record with most days posted in a row. After all I do go months without posting at all sometimes.

Normally I should be happy about the fact that only two more days until the weekend, however I am fearing these next two. They shouldn't be difficult but they are going to be a pain, and very very long. I have to be at the Patriot Center at 8am but the problem is I don't know when I am going home. Considering I am staying through the load-out and the basketball court has to go in after we load everything out I may not get out until 5am or later. If I didn't have to work a few hours later on Friday there would be no problems. Having to be at Wolf Trap at 10am on Friday and knowing that I have to go home between the two isn't good. Good news is that when 6pm on Friday rolls around I am going to be sprinting (assuming I can still do that) out the door. Just to add insult to injury, the Louisville vs. West Virginia game is tomorrow night and I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to watch any of it.

No I have no made a post since the very beginning of August, but at the same time I don't feel like anything has happened. I mean things have happened but in the overall picture of things not much has changed. So I might as well start with the things that have changed.

Most of what I have been doing is working, and this has changed a little bit. I still find myself working all the time, but before it was working at the Filene Center at Wolf Trap. Well Filene center is closed for the season and now the Barns at Wolf Trap is open so I have been working the box office there. Problem with that is I am only in about two days a week. So I took a job working at the Patriot Center working operations staff. Load-In and Load-Out of concerts and other events. Once again I find myself hardly ever there, just not a lot of work to do. So from September until its close in October I was also working at Bodies The Exhibition. I did all sorts of fun stuff there, operations staff (watching making sure people followed rules and what not), but I also worked with the education department in helping with the groups. I even did the gift shop one day. Like I said that closed down mid October, most of the people there had worked at the Warner or at the very least knew people at the Warner, so they put in a good word for me at the Warner Theater box office. Well that went well and I got hired there and I get to start the last week of this month.

Other than that I haven't done anything, I have made one trip to Morgantown. Either I am working or sitting around with nothing to do.

Gah!!!! I really hate these days where my mind just goes numb and short circuits itself. I hate being to the point where I just cant even do my simple functions anymore. I also tend to be very harsh on myself when I screw up and make mistakes. Combine those two and that was pretty much. Work was work for once and it was a lot of it and i just wasnt up for it tonight. Trial by fire I guess but its what it is. What is done is done.  I am very much so going to take full advantage of my day off and cherish it. Days off come few and far. I just cant shake the feeling that i am in for a very long week ahead. The fact that I got to see Guster perform tonight did kinda make up for it. Guster is up there on my list of favorite bands, by no means at the number one spot (Red Hot Chili Peppers) but certainly on there.

Well as far as I am concerned summer is officially here once again. I am back from Vegas! For the second summer in a row I find myself chillin and kicking it at Wolftrap. Its very different this year at the Trap because there were only 4 people hired last year and everyone else was returning; this year is the exact opposite, where there are 4 people returning full time (a few others that show up from time to time for shows) and the two supervisors. I kinda like the fact that this year I am up on everyone for right now but I mean I dont consider myself above anyone. I find it amusing that I left for nine months and I came back and its so much the same. I also like the fact that in my opinion this year has a much better summer schedule than last year. I still havent put much effort in to working out details for things when the summer is over but right now i just want to enjoy things and as boring as the trap gets at times i really enjoy it there. Last night was good to because I went and saw Pirates 3, which in logic makes no sense since i went to a midnight show after getting off the red-eye at 7:30 and working 1-9 but whats the fun if life makes sense? While there I managed to run into Jess, Chris, and Kyle meet me there, which was nice. Junker was also there i got to talk to him for a little bit outside Worldgate, also saw Dustin but didnt get a chance to talk to him. There were a few other HHS people i recognized but they didnt acknowledge me even though i know they saw me so whatever, personally i dont care i was just a little surprised. I hate fucking HHS so whats done is done. Oh Mrs.Frielich was one of the teacher i had at HHS and i saw her tonight at wolftrap and she insulted one of my co-workers. She was trying to scalp a ticket (which is illegal on park property) and when Brian told her she couldnt do it she gave him a hard time appearently asking "Are you even one of the paid people?!" then she continued to try right in front of the box office window and i went out and told her and she tried to hide behind a piece of paper and ran away. Well at any rate we had to tell her two more times one of which Brian got on her a little bit because he knew she was a (former) teacher (of mine). Its random things like that i make for interesting nights at Wolftrap.

As is usual per summer I once again find myself in the warm weather and sun of Las Vegas, Nevada. For whatever the reason being here is the first time I have been able to think clearly and think things through in a very long time. I think thats because no matter where else I was, I always had something else bugging me or on my mind or to do. Between trying to find someone to sublet my appartment to (which I did) or longing to be in Morgantown as soon as I returned to Herndon to finding a path for an electricianship, none of these problems really exist because when I am out here I have no worries I can just take my time and enjoy myself. There was a comment to my last post and that just kinda made me think. I just cant believe I didnt think of looking for an electrician apprenticship in Morgantown. That would solve my problems. When I was in Herndon I was going nuts because I wanted to be anywhere but home, and home didnt feel like home. Home to me was Morgantown. That really strikes me as something since I have lived in Las Vegas (always home), Pahrump (not quite home but very close), Tulsa (I havent been back since I left) and Silver Spring, MD (also havent been back). I cant remember I time with the expection of getting dragged out of Las Vegas (but there were a lot of other things going on that night, it was the start of a dark period for me) when I felt so sad to leave somewhere. I really hadnt been in a position like that in ten years. I know if I stay in Herndon I will go stir crazy and just be mad at everything since I wont be able to enjoy my free time since there is almost (well there are some people) no one in Herndon to hang out with. I already knew I would have to return to Morgantown every free chance I got just to stay sane. My whole reason for not staying was because there werent trade schools and now I am not even looking for a stupid trade school. So whoever made that comment I cant thank them enough, since I was able to think of this option now and not 7months or later down the road when it would be almost impossible to change it. Right now everything is so far up in the air it isnt exactly a good thing. Should I have things a little bit more under control? Yes, I should but I dont. In fact I have always kept things up in the air as long as possible, waiting until the final seconds to try to make sense and throw things together, somehow it has generally worked for me too. Everyone makes mistakes but we learn from them and move on, thats just the way life goes. When people would ask me if I had any regrets about leaving Morgantown and being thrown out of WVU, I always said NO. Reason being that I got a lot out of my time there and I wouldnt trade anything for it, as far as wanting to stay and that sort of thing was concered I stood by my NO. Sure I got kicked out, but thats the way it goes I deal with it and move on, to me a regret is a mistake that you fail to move on from. So while someones help managed to help me see another option, nothing is sound just yet, only time will tell how this all plays out in the end. Just know that I have found a new best option and I am going to put almost all my effort and energy into activly pusuising that option.

Well I finally came to a desicion on something that has been in my mind and bothering me for some time. The part that sucks is that was a no win choice. No matter which way I went I knew I would end up regretting it and I already do. Ok so here was my problem, I knew I am going to be kicked out of West Virginia University, I dont have a GPA after two semesters I will still have a perfect 0.0. So I found myself with a few problems and choices, in short do I stay or do I go? See I still have a lease I can't get out of, and I need to find someone to sublet to, if I decided to leave Morgantown. Now if I stay in Morgantown, I would have to work full time pretty much in order to cover rent but at the same time I wouldnt be getting anything out of my time here I would just be working and going out whenever I could. If I go back home I could goto NVCC or work or a trade school, and then I would at least get something out of the year I am being given off. So do I suffer in the short run and deal with a year back in Herndon and take it from there or do I stay in Morgantown and suffer in the longer run and find myself making no progress and changing nothing. Pretty much the same thing I ended up doing this past year. Well as much as it pains me to admit it, I decided to go back to Herndon. I figure at least I can make some kind of progress towards my future and have some hope. I would have happly stayed in Morgantown if there had been any trade schools in the area but the closest one is about an hour away so it just wouldnt work. So I find myself now looking into diffrent ways to become/ or learn about being an electrician. I finally told JP and Brian about this since I was supossed to be rooming with them next year, and the search has started for someone to take my place. I love Morgantown but I need to suffer some kind of consequences for doing nothing all year, and I need to do something towards a career and future. Now I run into the problem of what if I cant find someone to sublet my lease to, then I am really in trouble but I need to just continue taking it one step at a time. Feel free to leavce any thoughts or comments, on this subject.

I forget about livejournal for a months at a time and other times I post every-other day. Recently its been forgetfullness. At the same time though, it just seems that as of late a lot of nothing has been going on. It just seems to me that slowly buts surely the days keep on going but nothing is coming from each passing day. I heard how team 116 did today and watch their last two matches and i was excited for them. Yesterday I got to see O.A.R. but that was the highlights of the past few months. Sure I had a spring break which not a lot happened. I mean I worked thats about it. All i have to look forward to at this point is the fact I get to go out to Las Vegas after I leave here in May. The fact is i could leave here any time and it wouldnt change anything. I have failed myself out and managed to just be done for this semester the same thing happened last semester. Yet as I think about things, I find myself unhappy because being a diffrent person that what I wanted to be. At this point everything is off the wall. I need to start a new. Like Linkin Park's song says I need " To cross out what I’ve become, Erase myself, And let go of what I’ve done…". Funny enough I had full intent to write this update about being nothing or good things, and somehow when I stopped and thought about it I became aware of negatives and problems and upset with myself. Funny how often my posts are about something negative. I am not too worried about what will happen, I know I can work through it, I have been in worse situations before. Although that doesnt mean that things will be any easier or that I am looking forward to it.

Well somehow in one month I have managed to accomplish more than I did all last semester but also managed to do almost everything the same. I had a taste of sucess but yet I have lost control and the downward spiral had started. I can not allow this semester to be anything like last semester but at the same time I see it all heading in that direction. I am trying so fucking hard and yet I still can't seem to stop from making the same mistakes. I have been so frustrated, angry, and just out of it these last few days. I can't afford to have a breakdown right now, I have my tests this week. I am on the verge of just completly losing it and breaking down. Which might be what I need to re-start and re-focas myself but on the other hand I have tests to study for. I just dont know anymore.

I realized that I hadnt posted in a while so I figured I was due for a new post. Well anyways I somehow dont have much to say, which would explain why I havent posted. I mean I managed to get a perfect 0.0 last semester so now I am $10,000 in debt. At this point what is done is done and over with it so I laugh at it. I managed to enjoy it so now I am paying the consequences. Granted I found myself doing a lot of nothing all the time so I know I can turn everything around this semester I just need to do my work which shouldnt be too much of a problem. I enjoyed my trip out to Nevada about as much as I could. Since I have been back in Morgantown I have been able to enjoy myself but at the same time I have yet to miss any classes (ok i know i only have been here two days but since I stopped before thanksgiving for the most part last semester this an accomplishment for me), and I highly doubt I will miss any classes. Part of my being on probation requires me to study M,W,F starting at 7am pretty much until my first class. Which will be interesting since my earliest class on Monday and Friday is 2:30. Oh well. On a happier people are comming up to visit this weekend since I am the first (or tied for) of my college friends to start school again.

Well I just now realized that my break is pretty much over. Sure I don't have to be back at school until January 8th, which is still pretty early for college but thats the way it is. I don't get to make the rules, just complain about them. My break is over because somwhere around 6ish later today I will need be leaving for the airport. So off to Nevada it is with me, I will get back on the morning of the 6th, after taking the red-eye back, and eather later that same day or early the next day I have to leave to head back into Morgantown. Now granted I do get to see my mom and my brother, neither of which I have seen since summer 05. Even still I just want to enjoy my break and being out there I am inevitably going to be bored and pissed off that I am just watching my break slowly slip away and that I didn't get any time to enjoy it. Sure I have been back for over a week now but there were so many things that I had to get done as soon as I got back so I really didnt get much done the first few days. Of well once again I realize that I missed my chance once it was too late. Kinda reminds me of this qoute from Lucky Number Slevin which I just so happen to watch earlier.

Your lucky and nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky. You are lucky, so I may know that I'm not. Unfortunately the lucky never realizes they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you are off today but it took today for you to realize it. BUT today has arrived AND it's too late... You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what the had... or what others have... Grass is always greener on the otherside.

Oh well such is life I guess. Knowing better I will find a way to have a good time out in Nevada and I will get back and have a few stories to tell. My Nevada stories used to be the best stories I had, however my Morgantown stories are way way better. I doubt that any Nevada story will be able to top my Morgantown stories but at I can try.

I find it amusing when things (good things) just kinda happen. I mean when there is no way to see them coming or very little chance that they could be seen. The weird thing is that I wasn't surprised. Oh man am I loving break though. I have managed to do so much these last few days. I enjoy getting things done, seeing people I havent seen in a long time, and just relaxing. Not to say that I do much while at school but no dealing with drama and other bullshit is nice. It is kinda sad I am not gonna be here for very long though. At the same time I get to go out to Nevada for about a week which is going to be very nice. Hurray for breaks, hurray for chillin. Hmm I really dont have much to post about for a change.

I need to get home, I need to take a break and I need to get away from Morgantown as fast as possible. Things have gotten far beyond out of control, if I didnt know any better I would have thought everything was coming to an end. Accually if everything came to an end that would solve many of the problems and drama that has been going on on my floor. Sadly every time someone claims that things have been over they become two-faced and turn around and continue to start more shit. I am so sick of people and their problems can't anyone just deal with things? Does no one know how to let go of their past? Are people so dillusional that they cant see past themselfs? Right now I want to think that I am the only that sees what is really going on, the only one that sees the big picture. Everyone just loves making things spiral down even further into the abyss. The orginal intentions and how everything started has been lost and people can only focas on making others feel bad and getting revenge and in the process they are entangling as many people and destroying them in the process. I had drama and bullshit like this with a passion, when it gets to the point people arnt being human and are only using and abusing everyone to help their own cause. Thankfully everyone is getting ready to get out of here for a month, which will help a little bit but I have a feeling that thanks to cell phones/text messages/AIM its only going to continue. When they shoud be avioding each other they continue to find and hunt the other down.

I just don't know what I am going to do anymore. Classes are killing me in every sense of the term. The sad part is that they shouldnt be since I havent been doing anything in any of them. I just dont know. Everything went so wrong this semester considering my main focas should be my classes but I am doing such a terrible job. Everything that I used to do wrong in high school I am still doing wrong except now it is on a much higher scale. Everything went downhill 10x what it used to be. On one hand I need to just get a fresh start and re-do everything, to be able to pretend this semester never happened. Sadly that is what next semester is currently looking like; the most notable diffrence is that I am going to be on academic probation next semester. So fine I get done what I need to get done every bad grade get re-places and I just wind up a semester behind is what I know will end up happening. However I can't help but think to myself what if I don't pull it togethger and I end up getting kicked out. My parents arnt gonna help me much next semster due to my grade so as a result I am going to have to take out a loan. The sad part is that I can only afford to do this one time, if this fails or I fail again for the next 3-4 year I am done and will have to take a semester off. Which is the other option although I have elminiated it. Main reason being that I do not want to be back home, I can't stand being at my house. I can take it for a day or a few but every time I have been back I have wanted to be out and away from that house so bad it isnt even funny. If there is a bright side to haveing unpassable grades I have found it in the fact I really dont have to study for most of my finals since it doesnt matter what I get anyways. However the one final I need to do well in is the one I have tomorrow at 8am and I havent had the self-disipline to study for yet. Everything is going to hell and I dont know what to do. I am losing my mind right now.

Today I will start out with a video. This happened to my psyc class, these guys showed up randomly in the middle of my class.

Click Here

Only at West Virginia University would something like that happen.

Anyways the random thought of the day that inspired and motivated me enough to write on lj this evening.

After having been to several concerts, I have realized that there are diffrent types of bands. It took me a little bit but I think I have finally gotten adequite terms to diffrenciate between them. The first is that there are performers, these are bands that are as good if not better live than they are on CD. They bring energy and excitement and no matter what they put on a good show. Then there are musicians. These are people that can sit down and play but they do nothing to entertain. They sit/stand do their music and leave. Often times they only sound good on a recording, because they can eliminate many of the mistakes, also they get more than one shot at it.

Now for a diffrent topic. West Virginia has the worst basketball team I have ever seen in my life. I went to the game tonight since it was the first of the season and man was I dissapointed. Thankully tomorrows football will compensate for the basketball team. They did nothing right and they only scored 50 points granted they won by 8 but even still, the football team puts up similar numbers on the scoreboard.

Usually when I post at these random hours of the early morning I feel eather sad or just out of it, but for whatever the reason that isn't the case this time. However the usual reasoning as to why I am posting remains the same, I got bored.

First Topic: Politics and the Election
For anyone that knows me, they know that generally in politics I tend to be more conservative on many issues but I am all about many of the liberal points, its just conservative points generally win out. Although I took a thing online that had me dead center between the two but more on a libertarian side, by a very slight margin. So who knows what I would quallify as. Anyways I wasn't very happy with Virginia and their voteing in most of the cases, granted I am happy that Frank Wolf will continue to serve in the House of Representatives. I wont really complain about anything since I did not send in a request for an absentee ballet in time, so sadly I did not vote. Don't ask me about my opinion on the gay marraige amendment, I can't comment because I didn't read it and I didn't vote. I would accually have to read the bill to decide if I agree with it or not. If for no other reason, it is an amendment, agreeing or disagreeing to something like that without full knowledge is like signing a contract after skimming it over. I do think that Congress is now screwed over, 1. The Democrates have control (not to say republicans are much better....) 2. No party has the advantage by much, so a lot is gonna fall on the moderates that could swing in eather direction. Also it is going to be damn near impossible to get a 2/3 Vote, and fillibusters could screw over things as well.

In other news Rutgers beat Louisville, not too surprising since Rutgers was at home. I sincerly think that if WVU had played Louisville in Morgantown the game would have been very diffrent. With that said I do not think Rutgers will win out, they are gonna lose on December 2nd in Morgantown. Which should make things very interesting, since Louisville, Rutgers and the Mountaineers will each have one loss. Sadly that breaks the door open for Florida, Texas, Auburn, USC, Norte Damn, Caifornia to face the winner of the Michigan-Ohio State game for the national championship. Who knows the BCS might even manage to play the Michigan-Ohio State game again for the National Championship. I need to check the tiebreakers but that could make WVU the Big East Champions once again.

Hmmmm I cant really think of anything else to type right now. Oh well

After a crappy birthday last week this week is turning out to be pretty good...or at least since Friday. Steve showed up and so that made the weekend slightly less boreing during the day. Which was nice since everyone on my floor left this weekend. No classes tomorrow always make things better (..ok...today). Today, played some ultimate frisbee which is always fun. We played on the field and it was muddy, just muddy enough to make people slip. Also there were some puddles towards the out of bounds. Well one guy slipped and fell into the puddle I swear it looked like something straight out of a cartoon, hit his back flat and feet were straight up after he slide. Well anyways game kinda died down because it got dark/we found a gatorade bottel (w/some gatorade in it) to kick around. Somehow this all escalated into mud wrestling, which was quite fun. For reasons unknown the mud smelled like shit so after we stood around offering people hugs for a while (and giving them to people we knew) we went back and showered. Was it worth missing psyc...very much so.

It has been almost a month since the incident and I havent heard anything so I think I am 100% in the clear at this point but I still havent gotten the official word yet. I am trying very hard to find a way back home this weekend so I can go and see To Kill A Mockingbird but it doesnt look like that will happen. Oh well I will return to Herndon the 17th. Also I get to goto Las Vegas over winter break, I havent been out there since spring break so it will be good to be back. This will be the first time I have seen my mom in well over a year.